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Saturday, April 9, 2011

Delays, Births and Responsibility

Yesterday, Friday April 8th must have been April 1st because the day's events mimicked April Fools!!!!

After Monday of this week taking me 12 hours and 15 minutes to get from my Office here in sunny SC to my hotel in wet Monroe, MI - yes I did fly not ride but used airplanes (this is another story) I got to DTW in the morning Friday and leisurely cruised to my gate.  This was after a TSA person, I think it was a person, yelling at me while I was in one of those new fangled scanners stating "You have something in your pocket, what is it, you should have nothing in your pockets"

I stated that my pockets were empty and she proceed to repeat the above.  I started to lower my arms and she yelled at me again "Keep you arms up"

I responded back and stated that without moving my hand to my pocket how could I prove it was empty unless she took me at my word?

She responded by saying "come out" then I was faced, and I mean faced by one of her colleagues who told me to stand still until he said I was ok.  Literally 'nose to nose' we stared at each other and he said, obviously to the 'peeping tom' who looks at all passengers genitalia no matter their age, cred or color "he's clear?"  "what did you say he's clear?"

The response from the voyeur was obviously yes!!  To his great disappointment he had to let me proceed.

This isn't the point of this story but TSA you must stop employing ignorant self egotistical arseholes at airports - you are making the US an abysmal place to fly in.

To the point of this piece, I get to the gate and the Delta flight to Columbia, SC is delayed for at least one (1) hour - what a surprise. So an hour passes, I speak with a nice guy on his way to the Masters and we board.

We are given the safety screed and the door is just about to close and the Second Pilot makes an announcement.

"I have some good news and some bad news"

"The good news is that my wife has just gone into labor and the bad news I am leaving so we will have to find another co-pilot"

So that was it and off he went!!

The Captain then stated that he had no idea when they would find a replacement so to cut a long story short we disembarked the plane and told to stay close - makes sense.

Then approximately within ten minutes a 'three ring wristed" Delta Pilot showed up and we were allowed back on - hooray - we are now only two hours late.

All are seated, the ground crew state the numbers and the jet way starts to be withdrawn.

Here's the kicker.  Remember that all numbers need to be checked to ensure the correct number of people are on the flight and also to ensure, I assume, that nobody has wondered on from the runway with a little device or something well this is what happend.

As the jet bridge is withdrawing our highly intelligent cabin person, all smiles, giggles, says:

"We've got two seats empty and there was definitely people sitting in them before we got off"

Now one of the empty seats is 1D, yes 1D, right at the bloody front under her stupid nose yet she agreed to the numbers with the ground crew and let them remove the jet bridge.

So it was too late and the door was closed.

It gets better.

People on the plane then started to say "wow those guys are going to be upset", "there was no announcement made and they have been left", "what a shame for them", etc., etc.

Well dip shits:

1. There was an announcement made but
2. Even if there was not tough shit to the two dumbassess who decided not to stay at the gate!!

If they consider themselves so important and in a position to dictate to 30+ other individuals how to manage their time then screw them - irresponsible dicks!! They got all that is due to them yet others felt sorry for them.

Hence the title of this piece includes 'responsibility'. While we have individuals who have such a high opinion of themselves supported by bloody 'sympathetic do-gooders'  the World will just continue to spin out of control and disappear up it's own arse.

And these arseholes can vote - pathetic - roll on democracy and keep the Government open a little longer so these arseholes on the plane get their Fed Rebates back so that they can continue to fly around the country full of their own shit!

I will refrain at this juncture mentioning anything about my favorite airline NOT Delta.

Enjoy Easter Y'all.